I dream endlessly of contrasts.

Silk on skin.

Groans and sighs.

Sodden lace fused to molten flesh.

Your gleaming salt on my tongue, my pungent sweetness glossing your lips.

The ebony bands drawn tight against this fair and ravenous body as you bind my wrists behind my back with a strap of leather that bears my wanton scent.

Your hands, at once domineering and tender, sliding between the softness of thighs that silently beg to surrender, to give themselves over to you completely, that hunger for you to spread them so shamelessly wide we will fear, for the briefest moment, each of my delicate bones will shatter and break.

The violence of the scarlet of your visibly aching, burnished glans circling, tracing areola of the palest pink, marking and teasing and filling their raspberry peaks with a need that will overwhelm the space between these four, unassuming walls, that will consume the freshness of the ether with ragged breaths and sultry pleas.

Of this, I dream endlessly. And more, so much more.

Just as I dream about you.

By day, I don’t see the world that surrounds me through rose-coloured glasses.

But once I fall into the night and its darkness, once I slide slowly into my dreaming, our entwined bodies are bathed in an amethyst lustre so intense and absolute that my lips and tongue physically yearn and hunger to reach out, to taste its warmth, its richness, its flavour, all of your sensual and carnal secrets, straight from your hard and naked flesh.

He is the dream.

He’s that dream.

The one that wakes you from the deepest sleep at three a.m.

Some nights, with nothing more than a lone finger. Tenderly running the length of your naked body as your breath is soft and sweet and easy. Tracing the contour of your delicate spine with its trembling tip as you lie on the side of the dark and your delicate heart beats in time with each whispered word, with every memory, with the intensity of his yearning and his sensual kiss.

And on others, with the carnal need and insistence that electrifies your very soul. The hands that prise you apart then prize you, stroking the pearl of your pleasure until your thighs shiver and splay, until your glistening cunt silently calls and begs for his perfecting flesh. The mouth pressed into your ear as he fingers your tight, wet heat. The ravenous tongue circling each rising peak of your breast as his weight bears down upon you and he finally eases his hard thickness inside you to the hilt, filling you so completely you both cry out in ecstatic anguish, shattering indelibly the stillness of the night.

He is the dream.

He’s that dream.

The one my mind and body refuse to release, to erase, to forget.

I woke startled and frightened, with the room enveloped in darkness. I woke alone and afraid, my skin glowing with a chilling sheen. I woke with the vivid imagery of my dreaming flashing before me, playing in my head, its afterimages seared on my eyes. I woke with the phantoms, their menacing scowls and glistening blades stepping out of the shadows, their cruelty, coercion and horror following me through the night. I woke calling out his name, calling out your name, calling to you, my body calling out for you.

As I lay in bed, eyes on the white ceiling, ears listening to my shallow, recovering breath, hands registering the heartbeat thudding through my chest, I longed to be held and soothed by you, longed for the safety of your strong arms, the sweetness of your tender kiss, I longed for you to hush the gentle cries and drink away my salty tears.

I wake
With you
The warmth of your flesh
The flavour of your skin
Lingering still on these soft lips
Your heady musk
Your masculinity, your being
Overwhelming, engulfing my senses

I wake
With you
This supple body craving
Instinctively seeking, curving
Ever reaching
For your sleeping form
Your touch
Your kiss

I wake
With you
I wake
With you
I wake
Without you near

Last night, it finally broke. As my dreaming steadily filled with vivid images of him, with the sights and sounds and sensations of the two of us together – talking, laughing, fucking, making love – my body released its lustful want, its aching need, its crazed frustration. Waking with a start, his kiss still lingering on my lips, I lay in bed, my flesh scorched and drenched, damp curls glued to my nape, pink shirt and knickers fused to my torso, my recovering breath barely fracturing the night’s quiet.

Peeling back the covers and stripping down, my nakedness glistened in the low light as I drifted somewhere between sleep and consciousness, between my bedroom and the one of our love making. With the cool caressing me, I ran my fingertips slowly over my skin, delicate, teasing strokes from neck to collarbone, around the mounds of my breasts, on my hardening nipples, down the curve of my stomach to the softness of my hips and thighs, just as he had done in that perfect and consuming vision.

Within moments, I sank into the plane that offered me the gift of his presence. Submerged once more in his voice, his scent, his weight, in the intensity of his closeness, my body unconsciously reached out for him, at first calling silently, then screaming, then weeping so hard the wetness rose up, shiny droplets dotting my flesh as I spread across the bed in response, arms and legs opening wide and ready, the slippery heat flowing freely from my aching sex.

Hovering over me, his phantom drank from the stream, instructing my hands, guiding my fingers to the juicy plumpness down below, to the pink that yearned for his hard thick cock, to the cunt that longed for fulfilment. Sliding my palm over my mound, gliding my fingers from the portal to my clitoris, up and down, up and down, dipping in two fingers deep, deep, deeper, soft, ragged cries filling the room, my back sensuously arching off the bed, his material form was suddenly beside me, the white expanse dipping under his masculine strength. With his lips and tongue on my mouth, tracing my neck, his breathy whispers in my ear inflamed, incited this desire, compelling me, propelling me to the edge, urging me, imploring me to finger myself for him, pleading me to finger fuck the velvet heat he longs to devour, to fuck my dripping cunt harder, harder, faster, faster, to spread my lips and tease the nub of my purest pleasure, to touch and finger and fuck myself as he would, as he has, as he will, to come, to come, loud and moaning, to come, to come, slippery fingers, plunging, pumping, thrashing, to come, to come, to come. To come for him. For him and only him. In fevered sleep, in fevered waking.

He has been haunting my dreams. This man in my dreams is the man of dreams, of my dreams.

I know his eyes, his mouth, his hair. I know that soft spot on his neck. I know his scent, his laugh, his kiss. I know his intimate caress.

Somehow I also know his name, even though we have never met.

I know him in moments and flashes and through my vivid dream-fuelled senses. I know him only in fragments. When I try to piece him together he is elusive, fading, disappearing, defying recollection.

But in dreams, in dreams, he comes together again for me, with me. He comes together and strokes my cheek and reads my words and loves me as no other man has ever dared.

There is a time, a space, a fissure, between darkness and light, sleep and waking, dreams and consciousness, where he comes to me.

He steps out of my sleepy imaginings, his phantom form made material, filling the place beside me. The bed sinks under his weight, the pillow rustles with the drop of his head. His heat overwhelms the white expanse on which I rest.

Just as I stir threatening to wake, he moves in to me. His body greets my soft nakedness, his hands play with my curls, his lips brush along the curve of my back.

Filled with the pleasure of his simple touch, I then move in to him. Enveloped in his arms, his heartbeat and breath mingling with my own, I relish the sensation of his silky wrapped hardness against my skin.

But as the light beams through and my eyes begin to register the day, the spell is broken and I am alone once more. While he fades into the glow, I lie in bed hoping he will appear to me again with the breaking of another dawn.