I miss you.
And the way things used to be.
And the way we were together.
And the fire – our fire – that would threaten to annihilate us both, sparked by the simplest word, the briefest gaze, the smallest sigh, the mere brush of bodies and fingers and trembling lips.
And the instant I felt you, felt you inside me, felt you deep in my flesh and my bones, felt you and your gaze and your weight and your voice as new and unknown and yet just like home.
And that moment, that one perfect moment where time stood still and the distance between us contracted and you genuinely craved my warmth, my truth, where we laid each other bare, stripped away the fear, the hesitation, all pretence, where we confessed it all with intimacy and absolution, where we revealed like never before, where we merged with lust and sin and tenderness, where we stood on the precipice, on the brink of something real, something more.
And the freedom of this desire – this desire for you – the freedom to feel it, to speak it, to live it and breathe it, to fuck it, to kiss and touch and devour each other until we moan and clutch and scream and come, until our bodies tremble in exhausted bliss, until they silently beg again for the glistening heat, to fuck you, to fuck it and fuck it up so absolutely you will dress me in your angry silence and cold resentment and I will shed big hot furious tears, to fuck it up, to tear us apart, to piece the shreds back together again with passion, with lightness, with careful words softly spoken, with easy steps and a gentle caress, with gestures verging on affection, on love.
It seems almost wrong – inappropriate, maybe – to reflect on both the painterly, artistic lines, yet also the undeniably erotic charge of this image, while appreciating the need, the ache and yes, the void, described in your words.
But yet, that’s what I find myself doing.
I miss the all-consuming fire, too, even after all these years. I long to be devoured by it again, and fuck the consequences.
Meanwhile, though, this image fills my eyes and, I’m sure, will linger for a long while…
I was hoping the tension between the erotic and an aching longing would shine through in both the photograph and the prose. Your response has left me feeling wonderful as well as infinitely more confident about expressing a more emotionally complex eroticism with greater regularity.
I have no doubt this will be a small consolation, but I understand your need (and your desire to fuck those consequences) in my very bones. But I have to admit I’m incredulous your passions aren’t being indulged in the ways you crave. There is clearly something amiss with the universal forces that control all of this…
You should have no doubt, in the slightest, that your “emotionally complex eroticism” has already been evident in your thoughtfully framed images and prose that aches with subtext, even in the relatively short time I’ve been reading.
As for need, as for fucking the consequences – well, I remember the last time I did that, the explosive nature of the first of only a few encounters, the physical aching in the days after, the fingers trapped in hair and pulling it taut, the escape of cries from our mouths, then the slower, gentler, less frenzied meetings that followed. I knew, I think, that this need would be sated for only a short time and that the consequences would be an end, a finish. I knew that when I started.
Yet, right now that need is such and the void so profound that I would readily spin back the calendar, start all over again, and spend those hours in a ravaged bed fucking the consequences until we could barely move anymore.
If I could turn back that clock for you, I would do so willingly. I can only wish these profound cravings and passions are sated – and soon. The fire in your words tells me that you deserve it all.
But in the meantime, have you considered spilling these desires onto the (virtual) page? Your comments alone signal a talent for the nuances of the erotic. If you decide to make this leap, you’ll be guaranteed one reader at the very least…
I miss you too. And we don’t even have any of those memories together…
Oh you…
Sigh….
What a gorgeous pic. Maybe your best yet. Beautiful…sexy…haunting. But such sad words….
You always say the most gorgeous things, Max.
I can only hope the sadness of the words wasn’t too excessive. I am feeling haunted by these feelings, by this man. And right now, this is the only means of exorcising it all…
my favorite pic of you ever, very vulnerable, and those searing words of yours which strike at the deep recesses of what’s left of my soul, my fractured soul. i felt this one deeply.
Your beautiful words have touched my own vulnerable soul, phoenix. Thank you, gorgeous, thank you…
“hot furious tears” wonderful words. as wonderful and stunning as the picture is I confess to missing the mystery of you in it. wonderful post yet again though.
Thank you so much, new admirer.
I’m also keeping my fingers crossed I haven’t completely shattered the mystique and disappointed you with this slightly more revealing post. If I promise more veiled flesh next week, will you return to the Cake?
3 out of my 25 words were “wonderful” I’m not going anywhere. no need to promise anything, you are stunning, your words are stunning. I’m hooked on The cake and the Minx
I’ve never been happier to celebrate an addiction…
Such a beautiful face to hide the broken heart.
Such a beautiful sentiment to soothe the ache.
Thank you, A…
Your words and picture go so well together, I have been there that missing, some days it still creeps over me.
The strength to show that vulnerability is immense and can be freeing in and of itself.
Even in that wistful and thoughtful look you are still beautiful and desirable.
That’s exactly the way I feel right now thanks to your words, SSir – beautiful and desirable. And very lucky to know you.
If only the man in question viewed this vulnerability as a strength…
So beautiful. I am sorry that you are going through this aching loss. I understand, send my hugs.
Even as you grieve, the eloquence of your vulnerability and longing moves me.
This means so much coming from you, sweet Lady D. Thank you…
(On a brighter note, it’s lovely to see you around these parts…)
One thing is for certain, there is nothing sad about your beauty.
That’s lovely of you to say so – thank you, Ella…
Wow. That was… wow.
I absolutely adore having this effect on you, B…
I thought it impossible, but, Cheeky Minx, you are even more beautiful than I dared imagine.
And try as they may, your thoughts forlorn cannot detract from this. Even in sadness you are bliss.
I’m so touched and dazzled by your response, bhp – and more than a little glad the sadness of this post hasn’t dulled or detracted from the way you view it and me.
There are times when I need to spill this emotionally complex eroticism onto the virtual page, to release it through my body then feed into the lense. This was definitely one of those times…
Beautiful…
Not only Sensual in Body and Spirit, but equally Sensuous in your Words…
As for pain, Time does fix almost everything…
~shoes~
Thank you so much for your kind and soothing words, shoes. They’ve taken away a little of the sting and placed upon these lips a sweet and grateful smile…
Lovely pic 🙂 But ack…the words were a little close to home today and now I’m missing someone too 😉
Even though I’m tickled you like the photograph, I’m saddened to hear the words are a little close to the bone, mala. I can only hope your ache is eased very soon.
And one last thing – welcome to the Cake… 🙂
I stared at this photo for a long while before realizing why it entranced me so. You’re a sculpture I’m certain I’ve seen in the Louvre or the Tate or some such museum I’ve perused. What does it for me, what drives this connection, is your countenance, so much like a woman a sculptor might create, a woman I’m certain a sculptor HAS created.
Oh my… You do this to me every time, JK. You write not mere words but poetry; a poetry that lifts my soul and leaves me thankful for so much, including your generosity and your friendship…
Oh Minx, you’ve perfectly captured a feeling I’ve often felt myself. I’m so glad you have this blog–for both our sakes.
That’s makes two of us, VL.
I’m so touched by your words and truly grateful for the warm glow of your friendship…