Category: Longing

Jet Lag

After more than a week, my body continues to lag half a day behind craving the cold and the sleet and grey clouds hanging low and the 76 to Waterloo, my daily view of St Paul’s and the long meandering walks from Ludgate to Fleet to the Strand and the sea of dashing men with that certain sparkle in their eye, the hustle and bustle and crowds overflowing and Penn and Picasso and Matisse, cinnamon porridge and builder’s tea and the Turkish pastry shop up the road brimming with the goodies I love.

And strong arms firmly pressing a warm body against me.

Intuitive Touch

In the low, fading light, he reaches out to her, hands making contact with soft warm skin, fingers trailing so delicately her body unconsciously reaches out for more of his touch. Blazing blue eyes sweep and record every detail, every curve, every freckle and dimple and arc of her slight form.

He lays her out exploring her womanly terrain as if new found territory. Hand hovering over her increasingly hot expanse, it makes contact along her neck, collarbone and the path between her breasts as he holds her down with a gentle strength.

Mouth, lips, tongue on the surface now, he breathes in her scent, sweet yet rich he whispers, moving down to her moist, enveloping flower as he handles her with such sensual care she begins to shake at the foreignness of the sensation.

Her longing rises up to meet him, giving her over, surrendering her agency, as she marvels at his ability to read, to perceive, to know exactly what she needs and when, to recognise the fluid nature of her desire and crave its multiplicity.

Of Dreams

He has been haunting my dreams. This man in my dreams is the man of dreams, of my dreams.

I know his eyes, his mouth, his hair. I know that soft spot on his neck. I know his scent, his laugh, his kiss. I know his intimate caress.

Somehow I also know his name, even though we have never met.

I know him in moments and flashes and through my vivid dream-fuelled senses. I know him only in fragments. When I try to piece him together he is elusive, fading, disappearing, defying recollection.

But in dreams, in dreams, he comes together again for me, with me. He comes together and strokes my cheek and reads my words and loves me as no other man has ever dared.

The In-between

There is a time, a space, a fissure, between darkness and light, sleep and waking, dreams and consciousness, where he comes to me.

He steps out of my sleepy imaginings, his phantom form made material, filling the place beside me. The bed sinks under his weight, the pillow rustles with the drop of his head. His heat overwhelms the white expanse on which I rest.

Just as I stir threatening to wake, he moves in to me. His body greets my soft nakedness, his hands play with my curls, his lips brush along the curve of my back.

Filled with the pleasure of his simple touch, I then move in to him. Enveloped in his arms, his heartbeat and breath mingling with my own, I relish the sensation of his silky wrapped hardness against my skin.

But as the light beams through and my eyes begin to register the day, the spell is broken and I am alone once more. While he fades into the glow, I lie in bed hoping he will appear to me again with the breaking of another dawn.

Music Man

As he growls then whispers the lyrics, she marvels how he could so accurately read the life of a woman a world away from his own.

Smiling through her tears she doubts if any other man will ever be able to do the same from up close.


The pulsation of my body, the flow of my words.

Together again, they overtake me, they wake me in the dead of night, gnawing, grabbing, demanding. Begging for the page, the pen, the cursor, the screen. Begging for skin and heat and lips and hands and hardness.

Open and ready, I surrender.