Altered State

You’ve changed me. You’ve changed me and my desire.

No, no. You’ve done more than that.

You’ve ruined it and me. You’ve ruined us, spent and consumed us. Unknowingly, unwittingly. Softly, slowly, sensuously. Ruthlessly and callously.

And even as I continue to want you, even as the thought of you has my cunt dripping its sweet nectar, even as that glisten fuses my bright flesh to the pink girlish cotton, even as I seek out my sex and come hard and loud with a speed that leaves me violently breathless, I hate you a little for that.

  1. Osbasso 2011.04.04 2:45pm

    And love me a little more for that too, I'll bet! :*

  2. Lady Dragonfly 2011.04.04 3:05pm

    Oh, so painful.

  3. France 2011.04.04 5:19pm

    I'm not sure if this is good or bad, being ruined like so… I'm still undecided on that one! Loved your words though, I can relate. 🙂

  4. Sir Thomas 2011.04.04 7:11pm

    The was so powerful

    I found myself wanting so bad to be this person that changed you, but then
    Not wanting to be hated or the one to change you in anyway.
    To have ruined you for even a second but as I say this I know that it could be
    Just to have taken you to these places that even now cause you to seep for me.
    I’m torn from your words so will you piece me back together again please..

  5. Marcus Myself 2011.04.04 10:15pm

    Hatred, desire – what a frightening combination. How would someone deal with this conflict? So much raw emotion.

  6. Green Eyed Frenchy 2011.04.04 10:18pm

    Ah, love and hate… the eternal dichotomy!

    Don't let it eat you up!

  7. Max 2011.04.05 1:05pm

    Yes, as Ms. Frenchy says, the eternal dichotomy….


  8. Advizor54 2011.04.05 3:15pm

    Ah, to be changed, fundamentally altered by the love of another, it is what life is about, to find those connection, and, occasionally, feel our world shirt.

  9. Cheeky Minx 2011.04.07 2:51am

    Os: Of course… 😉

    Lady D: You're right, it is. And yet, it's also strangely fortifying and liberating in its own way.

    France: I thought you might be able to relate. Like you, I waver between its positive and negative effects. In the end, I'm just glad my words could hit the right spot. 🙂

    Sir T: I will try my utmost to piece you back together with the greatest of care, sir. Thank you for the touching words…

    Marcus: Honestly, I'm unsure. While the combination is frightening on one level, on another it's one that makes us feel most alive. And compels me to write…

    Frenchy: Indeed. Although, I'm unsure if this is love. Thank you for the concern though, my sweet. Oddly enough, writing about it helps soothe that ache…

    Max: I'm so touched you think so. Thank you…

    Advizor: And my world, my body, my desire have done just that – shift, slide, change. Even through the transient moments of hatred, I'm very grateful for that altered state.

  10. 1manview 2011.04.10 9:39pm

    We tend to dislike things that makes us want, because it means we are not in complete control… Love your words…

  11. Cheeky Minx 2011.04.11 6:38am

    How right you are, 1manview. And even though I may dislike this state, I'm very glad you liked the words so well…

  12. Mediocrity 2011.04.12 8:13pm

    This is wonderful

  13. Cheeky Minx 2011.04.13 5:34am

    I'm so touched you think it so, Mediocrity. Thank you…

  14. both.hands.please 2011.04.17 8:15am

    I must thank you CM. You have just provided me some incredible insight. Although it pains me.

  15. Cheeky Minx 2011.04.18 7:38am

    I'm so glad this piece has allowed you to see me a little more clearly, both.hands.please. And while I hate to inflict pain, I have no doubt you appreciate the complexity of this kind of desire…